


Distance

by polygondusted



Category: Electronic Dance Music RPF
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-09-01 21:57:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8639716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/polygondusted/pseuds/polygondusted
Summary: Porter doesn't know how much longer he can handle being away from Hugo.





	

"Hugo... I don't know if I can keep doing this." Porter lets out a shaky breath and looks down at his hands, at the wall, at anything but Hugo's face.

"Porter, I... I know it's hard. But I love you, and we can find a way to make this work," says Hugo, reaching forward to grasp Porter's hand.

Porter frowns and pulls away, putting even more distance between them. It isn't as if distance isn't familiar to him, anyway. Over the past year, he and distance have gotten to be good friends.

It had started with Hugo's short tour in France, just a couple weeks away from his and Porter's home in New York. It really hadn't seemed that bad at the time — Porter was visiting his family in North Carolina, so he wasn't alone, but he still felt the ache of missing Hugo.

They had tried to talk on the phone or on Skype every day, but Hugo kept getting busier and busier until their conversations were reduced to a few sporadic text messages sent every couple days.

Porter still remembers how it felt, how heavy his heart had been knowing that Hugo had better things to do than talk to him. He remembers saying goodbye to Hugo on the phone, fighting back tears as he hung up.

Four months later, Hugo had gone on tour again. A bigger tour this time, spanning across multiple European countries. Porter was going on tour, too, but not with Hugo, to his disappointment. He had been planning his own American tour for months, so Porter resigned himself to even more time spent away from Hugo.

Porter had understood that Hugo was busy and that his tour was taking up most of his time, but God, it hurt so much to not be able to talk every day. He'd felt sick to his stomach just thinking about the distance between them, the growing gap in their relationship.

And here they are now, six months later, saying goodbye once again as Hugo gets ready to board his flight and head off on another tour.

Porter sighs and shakes his head. "It's not... I just—" His voice catches and he takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself. "I just can't live my life like this anymore. We barely ever spend more than a couple weeks together at a time and I can't even remember the last time we went out on an actual date.”

Porter can feel the tears welling in his eyes, but he forces himself to blink them away. It's as if his heart is ripping in half and Hugo doesn't even care. He just wishes that things were how they were a year ago, when they were happily in love and thought that life couldn't possibly get any better.

"I'm sorry, Porter. There's nothing I can do; you know I try my hardest to spend time with you when I can." Hugo's gaze flits anxiously over Porter's face, searching for any sign of forgiveness.

"Do you really, though?" whispers Porter, hands shaking.

Hugo recoils as if he's been slapped, looking hurt. "Yes, I do try my hardest! Do you really think that I don't care about you?" he asks, his voice raising.

"Sometimes, it really feels like you don't." At this point, hot tears are rolling down Porter's cheek. He wipes them away with a hasty swipe of his hand.

He and Hugo stand there in silence for what seems like an eternity, every second creating more distance between them. Porter opens his mouth but the words don't come out — he knows that nothing he says can fix whatever's happening between them.

"Are... are you breaking up with me?" Hugo asks suddenly, the bitterness gone from his voice.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Porter replies, "I think that would be for the best."

Porter can't look at Hugo's face, doesn't want to see whether Hugo is torn or relieved. He doesn't know which would be worse.

Deafening silence surrounds them. Porter can hear his heart beating so loudly that he wouldn't be surprised if Hugo could hear it, too.

Porter's whole body goes deathly still as Hugo leans towards him to murmur in his ear. "Goodbye, Porter," he says, voice breaking. He turns away from Porter, unable to look him in the eye. He takes off running through the crowd of people swarming the airport, pausing to glance back at Porter one last time.

Their eyes lock and for a fleeting moment, Porter wonders if he just made the biggest mistake of his life. But it's too late, Hugo has already been swept up by the crowd. Porter catches a glimpse of Hugo's baseball cap, and then—

He's gone.


End file.
